He had on his new suit and shiny shoes. The card and gift were packed, and so were the earplugs. He was heading out the door to his first fancy school party. For weeks we had discussed the appropriate outfit to wear and the fact that he would need to use earplugs when the band played. Given my genetic hearing loss, I won’t take any chances with my children damaging their hearing. They need to have as much of their own hearing left in case problems arise later through no fault of their own.
We didn’t have too many battles over the outfit, but the earplugs were another story. He remembered his sister’s earplugs from two years ago when she went through this same round of parties. They were the kind from the drugstore — big, bulky and bright pink. He wanted none of that! We searched for something less noticeable.
His need for the earplugs to be unobtrusive bothered me at first. He should be proud to protect his hearing, like he was a few years ago at camp. Was he ashamed of his mom with hearing loss? Was I passing down the stigma of hearing loss to my children despite my efforts to avoid it? Eventually I chalked it up to teenage angst and its accompanying peer pressure.
We found a pair of small, clear and high quality earplugs on the Internet, and practiced inserting them a few times after they arrived. They were expensive, but they seemed to work very well. And they were discreet. He promised to wear them, which was the most important part. I was proud of his courage to do the right thing, even when it was hard.
Off he went to the party and when things got loud, he did as he had promised and used his earplugs. He said a few kids asked him if they were hearing aids, to which he replied, “No, earplugs.” Then the kids asked if he had others to share. The music was painfully loud — at 106 decibels according to my son’s decibel reader app on his Smartphone. This is a damaging level of sound.
The rule of thumb is that prolonged exposure to any sound at or above 85 decibels can cause gradual hearing loss. This is the level of heavy city traffic or a school cafeteria. At 100 decibels, the level of a rock concert or loud sporting event, damage can occur after one minute! Check out this “noise navigator” chart for safe listening duration times at various volumes.
This raises the question of why the music was so loud in the first place. I find weddings, bar mitzvahs and other large parties unpleasant given the noise level. I don’t remember the music being as loud years ago, but maybe I am just getting more sensitive because of my hearing loss. I don’t think so, though. Unfortunately, today’s society seems to equate loud with fun. Maybe it is time to turn the volume down so we can all enjoy safely.
In the end, I was proud of my son. He had his reservations about wearing the earplugs and setting himself apart from his peers, but we worked together to find a mutually acceptable option. And when I was not there to enforce the behavior, he wore them, even when people began to notice them.
After all the worry, wearing earplugs had even turned out to be cool! He is planning to bring extras for his friends next time.
Readers, do you wear earplugs at loud parties?
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I wish I had known this when I was young. I went to a lot of loud rock concerts, and played my music loud at home. Now I’m 63 and can no longer hear the birds singing, or whistles, or the microwave ding. I can’t hear the rain on the roof, or understand people who whisper. Even with my hearing aids, I can’t hear these things. (I don’t need volume, just clarity. My hearing aids make it possible to understand people when they talk.)
Thank you for sharing your perspective. Prevention education is so important.
I don’t wear earplugs at parties, but truthfully I avoid most large gatherings where there will be a lot of noise. On the occasions that I do attend, I try to go to the less noisy edges or the hallway or another room. If I am engaged in a conversation with someone, I will ask them to move with me to a quieter place so that we can hear one another.
I do wear earplugs or earmuffs in the gym when the treadmills and other machinery are very busy and loud and also when I am taking an aerobics class or other classes where the noise is loud. I also wear them in the subway in NYC which has earsplitting ear damaging noise.
Good advice about the subway. It can be very loud! Thanks for your comment.
Also, I think it’s great that you are educating your children about hearing loss. I am going to send the article to my adult daughter who has a small child just as a reminder. Little children’s parties can be very noisy, too. That would be a great topic to discuss. Offhand, I would say limit the number of children who attend as a remedy for cutting down the noise.
Thanks for passing the information along!
some musicians use volume to hide their lack of talent. It is hard to play soft well.
Interesting thought. Thanks for sharing.
Did you all hear the news on Eric Clapton this weekend? He declared he is going deaf after 50+ years of playing electric guitar at exceptionally loud volumes. I am surprised more rock musicians aren’t deaf. I wonder if some of them do wear earplugs of some sort?
Mike
I saw that too, and was not at all surprised. Sad.
I think more musicians do today since more is known about how damaging loud noise can be.
Many are starting to use IEMs (in ear monitors) which are earphones that are custom molded to the user’s ears to cut the level of outside sound by about 30db while allowing them to clearly hear their voice or instrument. Look closely at Brian’s ears in this clip to see what I’m talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtipPCt317Y
When I was young, I really hated the fact that music at bars and concerts was so loud that you couldn’t have a conversation. It ended up keeping me away. It was something that I stressed with my kids, too. Particularly, the base-thumping music in cars. My brother-in-law played in a band for years and in his fifties started to become deaf. He was an example to them that protecting your hearing is important.
That is a very real example. Thanks for sharing it.
My pleasure.
Well written and a very important subject! The World Health Organization (WHO) expects that 1,1 billion young people between 12-35 are at risk for hearing loss due to exposure to noise in recreational settings. Keep up the good work improving young (and not so young…:-)) peoples hearing health and safety
Thanks for reading and sharing your comment.
For those of us that have Meniere’s Disease, one symptom is hyperacusis during an attack. Now living with the disease, my hearing has become more sensitive in general. While protection, even around my love able but crazy kids is a must, my audiologist says that protection can also lead to more sensitivity. So yes, I guess more needs to be done around this topic.
Very interesting. Yes, more research needs to be done on this topic. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.