There are positives and negatives to almost anything—including hearing loss. Today’s post highlights the downsides, but don’t worry, next time we will highlight the silver linings.
The Downsides of Hearing Loss
Please add your pluses and minuses in the comments.
Listening fatigue
With hearing loss, communication takes work! It’s like playing a game of Wheel of Fortune. Some of the letters are filled in while others are blank. We must use context clues, speechreading cues, and anything else we can think of to transform the incomplete sounds we hear into words or phrases that make sense in the context of the conversation. It’s not easy and requires a lot of processing power. No wonder we are tired after a long day of listening!
Appearing rude or unfriendly
When you have hearing loss, sometimes you don’t know when people are speaking to you. For example, if a person behind me says, “Excuse me,” I won’t always move out of the way. They may think I am being rude, but the reality is that I didn’t hear them. Because hearing loss is invisible, people often assume the worst.
Getting our hearing tested
It’s hard taking a test you know you’ll fail, but even so, I get my hearing tested at least annually. Accurate data helps me choose the best hearing aid and assistive listening technologies for my particular hearing loss. When combined with a can-do mental attitude (we call this a MindShift in Hear & Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss) and behavioral changes like identifying as someone with hearing loss, communication becomes much easier.
Missing the punchline of the joke
Everyone bursts out laughing, but I missed the final word—the one that contains the humor. It’s never as funny on the second retelling, even if I can get someone to stop laughing long enough to repeat it. It may seem like a small thing, but missing the punchline of the joke makes us feel disconnected from others and can add to feelings of social isolation.
Drowning in rapid speech
Are people speaking more quickly? Or maybe my processing capability is slower? Either way, the rapid fire delivery of news anchors, restaurant servers and almost every teenager is hard to swallow (and hear!). It can make it challenging to keep up and adds to the listening fatigue described above. The same goes for mumblers and low-talkers. Slow down, please, you talk too fast.
Movies, media and conferences without captions
Hearing loss continues to be seen as an afterthought for disability access. Ramps are a necessity in all modern spaces. And they should be. Why aren’t captions? Progress is being made—movie theaters provide captioning devices and most video platforms offer them—but there are snags. Devices don’t consistently work well and Zoom, the most popular of al the video conferencing platforms still requires the person who sets up the meeting to enable captioning in the main account settings—not always easy at a large institution. More work remains.
Never mind and other dismissive behavior
“Never mind” or “it wasn’t important,” or similar phrases uttered in response to a request for a repeat are demeaning and cruel. They are a dismissal and insulting. It says that the listener is not important enough to the speaker to repeat what was said. If I hear that from somebody enough times, I don’t bother to interact with them any longer. It’s not worth my time.
Hearing loss stigma
Even with earbuds of all types drooping from almost everyone’s ears, hearing loss stigma remains. Often associated with being old or out-of-touch, hearing aids have not evolved into fashion accessories the way glasses have. Many people continue to hide their hearing loss for fear they will be mocked or excluded. Mainstream media has embraced the Deaf (signing) experience, yet people with hearing loss remain misunderstood or are used as the brunt of the joke. Our documentary, We Hear You, aims to shine a light on the lived hearing loss experience too.
Being met at the airport with a wheelchair
Has this happened to you? How about being offered braille information cards on board a plane? Or provided with an ASL (American Sign Language) interpreter at the hospital when you do not sign. The general population misunderstands hearing loss, but I hope that continued advocacy will help bridge the gap over time.
Links with other health problems
Hearing loss is more than a sensory disorder. It is associated with other health problems too. Studies show that hearing loss is twice as common in people with diabetes and there is a high correlation between hearing loss and cardiovascular disease. It is also associated with a higher risk of falls. Most alarmingly, untreated hearing loss is linked to a higher risk of dementia, although additional studies show that using hearing devices lowers the likelihood for those most at risk.
Readers, what are your least favorite things about hearing loss?
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Thank you for sharing. This was fun to read as I could relate to most of the list above. One of my least favourite things about hearing loss is when I am wearing the hearing the crunching scratchy noise/sound it makes, especially because I am someone that wears headscarf (Hijab). Almost like the feeling you get when nails scratches a blackboard….. I just usually put the volume really down to it resolves.
Looking forward to your other post on positive/silver lining in hearing loss.
Thank you for adding to my list.
Constantly needing to fake it until I make it in social situations. Missing out. Not being able to follow lyrics in songs. The need to plan ahead far in advance if I attend the theatre. A lack of compassion from the hearing community, including the belief that I must be stupid because my brain is too busy processing everything to respond quickly. Always needing to advocate for myself, which is torture for an introvert. Living with the always-present stigma, shame, secrecy, bullying, discrimination, and misconceptions since childhood. Oh, and everything you listed.
Thank you for sharing these additions. You are not alone.
Shari, I am a teacher for students who are deaf or hard of hearing. I love your blog and often share it with my colleagues at work! It’s so down to earth and real!!
How wonderful! Thank you for sharing with your community!
Having friends who are fully aware of my hearing loss and still won’t face me, get my attention first, or talk to low in any situation. It’s frustrating to have to repeat the same, “I can’t hear you, you need to speak louder” or “you need to get met attention before you start talking to me” and lastly, “I can’t understand you when you are not facing me”. I mean come on it’s not that difficult.
It is very frustrating. Thank you for raising this point. You are not alone in feeling this way.
I am so grateful for this blog. It helps to feel seen and HEARD.
Just spent a weekend engaging with groups of people. In one case, I was in a large dining room listening to a presentation and then the leader said the words I dread the most: “Discuss this among yourselves.” I have superb hearing in most situations with my cochlear implants, but no matter how I set them, there is no possible way I can hear that conversation with the wall of sound around us. I explained to my group that I would not be able to participate. One other member who is hard of hearing but does not wear his hearing aids said he was just as helpless. I urged him to start wearing his hearing aids since it takes practice, but admitted that they probably would not have helped in that situation.
On top of the frustration, I ended the day exhausted because, even when it is hopeless, I try to get at least a few letters up on that Wheel of Fortune board. The best analogy that there is! Thank you so much for it. I use it all the time.
That sounds like a very challenging situation. Thank you for sharing your story. We can all certainly relate.
I am a hearing care provider and teach these things to my patients and how to overcome frustrations with hearings aids, and hearing loss . The biggest plus I have going for me is that I too have a bad loss, so I “get it”
I appreciate your insight! Not only do I still get A HA moments, but I am able to discuss them in “real life” with my patients.
How wonderful that you can share your insights with your patients as well. Thank you for leaving a comment.
It opens you up to being picked on behind your back by mean people. And not just by kids, adults do it too!
That is sad but true. Hopefully lowering the stigma can help stop this rude behavior over time. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Everything you said Shari is so true. I recently had back to back appointments with healthcare providers. I complete the paperwork required prior to the office visit. Every single time I have to fill out paperwork where it’s necessary for any type of appointment, the first thing I note, on the form, is that I am hearing impaired. The healthcare provider is looking at the paperwork as they are talking to me & I don’t know if 1.) they can’t read my handwriting or 2.) just decide to ignore my deafness altogether. Because I have to remind them numerous times I can’t understand their questions because they’re talking so fast, are turned away from me or both. I get an apology but then they just continue to carry on as if I am a normal hearing. Sooo frustrating!
I am sorry that has happened to you. You are not alone in having issues in healthcare. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Yikes; we have a very long list!
My pet peeves include cross talk and side conversations. I am happily following the dialogue about a friend’s trip to France, when all of a sudden the person next to me starts talking to the person across the table about their trip to France. How can I possibly coach my brain extract one conversation from the other? It’s crazy maddening. Please, one conversation at a time, please!
Absolutely! Thanks for weighing in!